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"How To Get A Girlfriend In Ten Steps."

Finally! A Step-By-Step Guide On How To Get A Girlfriend!

It's the age old question - "How Do I Get A Girlfriend?"

Since the beginning of time, it seems like men have struggled with how to get a girlfriend. In the olden days, it was enough to just club the girl you liked over the head and drag her back to your cave. Alas, things are not that simple anymore.

Nowadays, women have CHOICE in who they date and who they get into relationships with. And because of that, it all comes down to convincing them YOU are the best choice.

Obviously, this is easier said than done.

In a recent study, it was found that 90% of relationships are ended by the woman. And you don't need a study to tell you that if a woman doesn't like you to begin with, you'll NEVER be in a romantic relationship with her.

So what's a guy to do?

Look, there is a LOT of BAD ADVICE out there on the subject of getting a girlfriend. Depending on who you talk to, you hear stuff like...

  • "You got to be a jerk! Women love guys who treat them badly."
  • "Buy her flowers. Women like a guy who spends lots of money on them."
  • "Just be yourself. She'll come around eventually."
  • "Become friends first. THEN ask her out!"
  • "Get plastic surgery so you can look like Brad Pitt."

Now, obviously all of the above is bad advice for a guy to follow. (And if it isn't obvious to you, welcome to the real world, my friend.) Here's the facts:

Most Guys Never Learn How To Properly Attract A Woman!

So they spend all their time and energy doing things that simply won't work, and enduring endless rejection because of it.

In this article, we are going to focus on all the tips and tricks guys can use to get a girlfriend. This will truly be your How To Get A Girlfriend Guide!

So read on, my friend. What you're about to discover will no doubt shock you!

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 1: Look Good

You Don't Have To Be Good Looking, But You Do Have To Look Your Best!

Let's face it - modern society is OBSESSED with looks. People nearly kill themselves every year trying to look like a supermodel.

The cold hard truth is - most of us are not Brad Pitt good looking.

Some of us are short, or fat, or bald, or old, or have big noses and big ears.

But regardless - EVERYONE has something about themselves they are unhappy with.

But here's a secret...


See, men place a great deal of importance on a woman's looks because we are reactive and logical creatures by nature.

However, women are more EMOTIONAL. They place a bigger emphasis on how a potential mate makes them FEEL rather than how that mate might look.

Now, that's not to say women won't be turned on by attractive men. But it does mean that women qualify attraction in a different way than men do. (This is something most men don't realize.)

When you ask a woman what she finds attractive in men, she will always respond with a personality trait of some kind.

Answers like "Confidence," "Sense of Humor," "Intelligence," etc., are not uncommon. Typically, looks comes in 3rd or 4th when asking what they look for in a potential boyfriend.

So the first step is to stop worrying over the fact that you're not male-model good looking. You really need to focus on how you interact with women instead of trying to look like someone you're not.

(We'll get into this more in a bit.)

But you SHOULD try and look as good as you can. this means bathing regularly, grooming yourself, wearing nice clothes that fit, and probably most important from a female perspective - you have a good pair of shoes!

When you put your best foot forward and look as good as you possible can, you chances of attracting the woman you like go way up!

Now, there are some things you can't change, like your height, or your weight, or how much hair you have.

But the things you can't change you have to figure out how to work around them. (More on this in a bit.)

Now that we look as good as possible, let's discuss the next step...

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 2: Take The Lead!

Men Who Act Always Get The Girl. It's The Wallflowers Who Die Alone.

Many guys have a romantic notion that a girl they like will be the one to ask THEM out.

I blame the 80's for this.

The whole "women's lib" thing about wanting "sensitive men who can cry" and girls who can ask guys out on dates really messed up a whole generation of young boys.

Let me be frank: Waiting for a girl to ask YOU out is like waiting for Goddot. It just ain't ever gonna happen!

As a man, women look to YOU to ask THEM out. If you think about it, why wouldn't they? Asking someone out SUCKS!


Because when you do this, you open yourself up for REJECTION.

But you know what? It has to be done. (Now, there are ways to dramatically minimize your chances of getting rejected which I share in my book, but we don't have time to go into them here.)

But if you don't take the opportunity to ACT, chances are you won't get what you want.

Remember the words of Alexander The Great: "Fortune Favors The Bold."

This means that good things happens to those who take the risk to achieve them.

YOU must take the risk on asking the question "Hey, you want to go out sometime?"

If you don't, I can guarantee you, you will never get that girl to date you.

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 3: Be Honest!

The Worst Thing A Guy Can Do Is Lie To A Woman About The Way He Feels

Have you ever liked a girl you pretended NOT to like? Maybe she even asked you "Do you like me?" and you said "No."

And then, when you DID finally tell her how you really felt, she responded with the dreaded "Let's just be friends," line?

You want to know why this happened?

Because you were not HONEST with her about the way you felt.

See, people in general do not like change. Once they are used to something one way, they do not want to see it in a different way.

This is why being "friends" first is so dangerous to beginning a relationship.

Once you are in the "friends" category, its hard for a girl to see you as anything else (unless she was always attracted to you, but then you were never her "friend" anyway, right?)

So lying about your true feelings will create a relationship based around a "lie." Which is why the girl will freak out when you finally reveal the truth about your feelings for her.

To avoid this, be up front about your intentions. If you like a girl, don't hide it!

I know this can be embarrassing and possibly open you up to rejection or ridicule, but you know what? people RESPECT men who aren't afraid to show their true intentions.

And if you do this right, you will NEVER get rejected.


Because if you make your intentions known, and you see the woman respond well to it, you're already in! And if she doesn't respond well, you back off.

Easy as that.

But know this: Never be ashamed of your desires as a man. Always be honest with your intentions and don't try to hide them. Women will know when you like them, whether you want them to or not, and trying to hide it just sabotages your own chances.

TV and movies like to tell us that guys are the "goofballs" when it comes to getting women. But this really isn't true. Guys become goofballs by watching TV and movies that teach that.

REAL men, the men who get any girl they want, are always very up-front about what they desire, and they do not back down from it. They may give up and move on, but they will never be ashamed for wanting it in the first place.

This is how you must be.

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 4: Be Confident, Not A Jerk!

Believe It Or Not, Women Really Want Nice Guys!

I know there are a lot of people out there who see "Jerks" as the guys who get all the girls.

Well, this might be true, but it is also very MISLEADING!

Look at how a jerk operates...

A Jerk is self centered, so he pursues that which will pleasure him without regard to what other people think about him.

THIS is how he gets the girls. He doesn't care if they reject him. He doesn't care if people make fun of him. He just wants to score,a nd he won't stop until he achieves that.

Because of this, jerks will walk around and actually MEET women. They'll talk to them. Charm them. Pressure them. Trick them. Lie to them. Whatever they have to do to get her, they will do it - because they want THEIR OWN needs taken care of.

In the meantime, the nice guy sits in the corner too nervous to talk to anyone. So he goes home alone.

Look - if you want a girlfriend, you need to be a CONFIDENT guy.

Now, there are a lot of definitions of what "confident" means. But I'll tell you mine...

Being confident means LOVING who you are. it's about silencing the inner critic, and practicing positive outcomes in your mind.

If you were to walk up to girls, talk to them, interact with them, and have fun, I GUARANTEE you, you will outscore a jerk any day of the week.

And you know what? You'll get more repeat visits from the women you meet than the jerk does, that's for certain! And, your chances of finding a great relationship is also much better than the jerk's.

If you can stop criticizing yourself in your mind, if you can stop imagining all the bad things that could happen, if you could learn to love who you are and enjoy the company other people bring - you can be confident enough to get a great woman.

And the #1 thing women are attracted to is - CONFIDENCE! Just ask any girl. A confident guy will attract more women than a good looking guy or a jerk any day of the week.

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 5: Showcase Your Personality

You Need To Let The Girl Know Who You Are!

We always hear the advice "Be Yourself." And you know what? Every guy who hears that says "Being yourself doesn't work. If it did, I'd have a girlfriend by now."

Well, here's something I bet you didn't know...

When you're around a girl you like, you are NOT yourself!

Your true self "shuts down" and "shy self" takes over.

If you were actually being yourself around girls, chances are, they would naturally find you attractive!

This is why guys who are in relationships already have so many women throwing themselves at them. Because they are able to interact with girls uninhibited because emotionally, they are detached from the interaction - and the girls find their personality attractive.

So try and be your BEST self around women. Let them know you can joke around and have fun. Show them who you are and what you like to do - and what you DON'T like to do.

Even if it might piss off the girl you like, she will respect it. And if she doesn't like you for who you are, move on! You don't need that headache. After all, you want to be with someone who LIKES you, right?

Too many guys don't want to "screw things up," so they try and dilute who they really are.

But you know what? That's a great way to be unmemorable and unattractive.

Just be who you REALLY are, and the girl will come around. Trust me.

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 6: Create Connections

Girls Need To Feel Emotionally Connected To Men For Them To Be Their Boyfriends

Remember how before I said women were "emotional creatures?"

Biological, this is a fact. Though some women can be quite logical and pragmatic at times, they can't escape the fact that emotions rule them.

And every girl needs to feel some specific emotions to get into a relationship with a guy.

The biggest of these is the feelings of CONNECTION and COMFORT.

Connection simply means a girl has things in common with a guy. Maybe they both like to jet ski? Who knows? But the fact is they have common interests they can talk about and enjoy.

Comfort means they feel safe with the guy they are with. That they trust them.

So how do you make this happen? Easy: Steps 3 and 5! Being honest will help them feel comfortable with you, and showcasing your personality will help them to create connections.

There are more intricate ways in which you can do this and strengthen your connections with a girl, but for now, that's all you really need to know.

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 7: Make Things Sexual

You Can't Have A Relationship Without Intimacy!

Here is where most guys BLOW IT.

Understand first of all that if you can't get a girl to see you in a sexual manner, she most likely won't be in a romantic relationship with you.

Sexuality is a KEY aspect of attraction! And if you don't have it, you can't have attraction.

See, there are two ways this usually plays out. The first is that the guy gets too eager and tries to push the sexuality prematurely.

This could be seen as "moving too fast" for the girl and drive her off.

The second is when the guy is too nervous and scared to make his move.

When this happens, the girl thinks maybe he isn't really interested in her.

So you need to introduce sexuality into the interaction in a non-threatening way, but in a way that lets her know you're interested.

The first step of this is initiating physical contact. Things like touching, holding hands, sitting close to each other, etc.

Then, kissing. If you can kiss a girl, then the sexuality of the relationship comes into play.

(For more on this, check out my article on how to kiss a girl.)

Then, if you want to kick it up a level, you can introduce fondling, petting, and other forms of foreplay.

Once this intimacy is established, you've pretty much got a de-facto girlfriend!

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 8: Date Multiple Women

Looking For That "One Special Girl" Can Wreak Havoc On Your Emotions

Too often, what will happen is a guy will focus ALL his energies on just 1 girl, and if she rejects him, he'll be DEVISTATED.

Sometimes you meet a girl you like so much, that you don't want to focus on anyone else.

But this is a sure-fire way to be hurt.

So until the girl COMMITS to you, always keep your options open. And to do this, you simple date multiple women.

It's a healthy thing to see multiple people if you're not in a committed relationship with anyone. It gives you options.

Sometimes, guys will pine after a girl who's rejected them because they don't have any other girls to focus on. This is just self-torture.

Other times, guys will go for a girl they don't really like because they have no other options. This is just more unhappiness. (For both the girl and the guy)

But if you are dating at least 3 women at any given time, you'll find that rejection loses its bite, and you don't have to settle for a girl you don't like. it actually helps you out in meeting more women as well, because you don't place too much importance on any one girl.

So until you get a girlfriend, be sure to date a lot of women to find the one that's right for you!

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 9: Follow Up

Once You Find "The One," Don't Let Her Go!

If you've found the girl you like, and you've done everything right, keep doing it! Don't let her get away!

Too often, guys will get too busy, or the girl will get too busy, and before long, it's over before it began.

Not good!

Be persistent. Call her. Email her. Text her. Keep in mind, you don't want to BUG her. But trying to get in touch once a day is a good way of pursuing a girl without coming off like a stalker.

As the guy, the burden falls to you to keep up the pursuit, because lord knows there are other guys out there who'd like to be with your girl!

So be persistent, and don't give up! But until she commits, also be sure to be dating other girls too!

How To Get A Girlfriend Step 10: Have Fun!

Otherwise, What's The Point?

Look - if you're not having fun with the girl you like, she's not the girl for you.

But more than that, if you're not having fun, you're not the guy for HER.

Being fun is the most attractive thing a guy can be. If you can make a girl laugh, if you can engage her intellect, if you can establish commonalities and have a good time hanging out, she will NATURALLY become your girlfriend.

So learn to enjoy her, and the rest will be easy!

If you're interested in learning more about how to get a girlfriend, I highly recommend you check out my full Art Of Approaching course, which you can do by entering your name and email address below:

By doing so, you'll INSTANTLY get tons of great information that will take you, step-by-step, through the process of how to not only talk to girls, but how to get them to go out with you and become your girlfriend!

I wish I had such a resource available to me when I first started my journey to master my love life. But you better sign up now, because I don't know if I'll be offering this course after .

Wishing you success,

Author of The Art Of Approaching Women

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